Kites From Da Pen

My Bad!!

2009-11-27T18:27:00.001-08:00

I know its been a while since my last post but don't forget, I am behind the walls people!! Its been a rough year but I'm coming back strong with the realness. Thanks for checkin my blog out and be sure to check back regularly! If you're a new reader be sure to scroll down and read my previous posts... I'm goin in!!

Shine Bright Like City Lights...

2009-01-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

I could write a gang of bad shit but I'm not tryna put that out there. I've seen or been through more, in the short amount of time I been on this earth, than the average person will see in a lifetime. I'm not tryna make people go through what I been through. They already starting to build 53 thousand more beds in the california prison system. That is the biggest extension project in the history of the world. Its no secret that they tryna fill em up with my people, or people like me.

Like I did today, sometimes I be sittin in this hot ass cell (when its hot outside, reaching 100 plus degrees sometimes this cell aint got no circulation in it), and I be wanting to give up. But I can hear my family sayin "stay down". So I continue to push. Plus, I'm the type that feel like I would've been a star, or famous if I was still out there. I just didn't know the things I know now, moved wrong, and picked my friends. So I feel its my duty to give the next person some game, whether they take it or not. Or give the next star some game so he or she could shine.

NEXT WEEK: Loyalty above all...

I Aint Buyin What You Sellin...

2009-01-22T09:39:00.000-08:00

Look I know everybody different. No ones alike, that's what makes us all interesting blah, blah, blah, and all that shit. But one thing I don't have any patience for in here is niggas fronting like they runnin shit. I don't care what race you are, black, white, native american, asian, etc. It's a trip how some of these dudes 50 years old in here and aint worth shit. Trying they best to channel some Michael Corleone type shit.

I see em all the time in here. Some of em been doin time since the 70's and 80's and because they aint smart enough yet to learn how to beat the system, without gettin caught, they try to rationalize to you that they on some major John Gotti high-powered shit. (The youngin can't relate to that) At some point you gotta be like stop it. I aint buying the generic shit you selling for top of the line prices. You gotta know who you dealing with but you gotta know yourself to do that.

Sometimes I feel like I gotta move with calculated steps just to survive. You know how you can feel a person try and challenge your status or challenge your gangster, and you have to say NO it aint happening? I guess what I'm specifically talking about is this one dude. He happens to stay two cells down from me. People called him a white supremacist but he only pushed mildly with it; or he didnt push forcefully. Meaning he wasn't all in your face with the fuck blacks, fuck Hispanics. And once I had a conversation with him where he said "he's for Americans." Like there isn't many different segments of America. (I only look naive but I'm not). I later learned in here, with some people American was code for white supremacist. These pseudo bosses can't fool me...

NEXT WEEK: Keeping it pushin' even when it seems hopeless

2009-01-03T10:42:00.000-08:00

I've been in prison for 10 years. Thats 10 years worth of experience. How appropriate that on the dawn of my tenth year anniversary of being in the pen I would launch this site. Not to toot my own horn but a lot of niggas who came in my age didn't survive as long as I did. (I came in at 18 and now I'm 28).

Most young niggas that came to the pen either became zombies off that medication, fell by the wayside, or crossed the wrong muthafucka (or the wrong muthafuckas). Playing people too close or getting too familiar with people, you will find out the hard way that shit aint as nice as you thought it was. Niggas get ran up off the yard never to be seen or heard from again.

Thats why I cant fuck with nobody that aint thinking like me because they could be a detriment to my survival. Survival comes first! And on top of that I got to thrive in here. That may sound fucked up but I'm just giving you some game thats good enough to deposit in the bank. Its a gang of people who think just like me. But I aint the type to act funny style towards a person because I'm in a position of power. I can do what the fuck I want to do and chop it up with who I want to. But on the flipside of that positon if you cross me or go against me, there will be consequences. I will checkmate your game.

Pay close attention to the words I speak. It could help you out in life or the long run. I'm a representative for a slew of real muthafuckas and a mouthpiece for young niggas in the pen. I'm not trying to influence people to come to jail. I'm sharing my experiences so ya'll don't have to go through it.

NEXT WEEK: I'ma holler at yall about these wanna-be John Gotti mobsters in the pen...

Breathe Easy

2008-05-29T00:19:00.000-07:00

Niggas aint knowing the game. They got us on lockdown, 24 hours a day, everydayin this mothafucka. Even though everybody I know all around this prison is locked down too. Aint no movement, (outside each individual cell). Everything slammed down. So, I know I aint missing nothing. But it still kinda get inside your head. (I guess thats what its supposed to do, fuck you up in the head). Even though Ima stay strong, maintain, manage, and stand extra tall through it all. (One thing you got to remember is this place aint got no heartbeat, so you got to expect the unexpected). My attitude is "breathe easy" at all times.

On a Higher Level

2008-05-14T08:58:00.001-07:00

It trip me out how a lot of people think they cant bounce back from they problems. They be moping around, and crying like they cant get back. Complaining about small shit like it affect they whole world. Man I done ran across niggas that got they booty hole opened up by another man, and entered (nonconsensual). Now if a nigga can bounce back, and face the world on the prision yard on a daily basis after that it aint nothing you cant overcome. And thats just one example of what I'm talking about. That goes for niggas I see on the exercise yard too. Like this one cat I remember (I'm not naming no names) on the yard. Always complaining to me about some small shit. Always talking about what they can't do, not working, or doing anything to make it better, and then using that as an excuse to be anything but a stand-up dude, or a man. I'm not trying to hear it. Sending me that bird food gossip. I'm on a higher level. Live from the maximum security prison in Tehachapi, I'm out...

Lockdowns

2008-05-13T12:20:00.000-07:00

Recently in an earlier post I meantioned lockdowns. Lets take a closer look at these lockdowns, see why I hate them so much. It's some people who say that the lockdowns are played up intentionally, as a tool to break down the prisoner population, (who will experience that top to bottom, up and down the state of California) psycologically. Which is why its also important to remember only the strong survive. When you look at what little it takes to make a lockdown, (which means no going out to the exercise yard, or no going outside period to stretch your legs at all, no phone calls to anybody, no communication with anybody else who you might otherwise meet with on the exercise yard, no going to the law library, medical, or the dentist except under restraints, and a two man escort. Other things excluded too, like store and packages from the outside. Basically being locked in your cell 24 hours a day, everyday, for months long stretches at a time. (Hope you got a cool cellmate, if you do got one). Imagine being locked in your walk-in closet with nothing but a small tv to see whats going on in the outside world, and a toilet, with a sink for 3 months minimum without knowing whats going on outside your house, in your bedroom, or other parts of your house- its hard to argue with that. So what does a muthafucka do in that situation? You can either take it and do nothing, or do something stupid and then go to the hole. Which will make the situation worse. I done been in just about every hole and they doing the same thing in there. Everybody in there trying to get out. Thats not gangster. (Some people say success is the best revenge). Which is why I'ma work to expose they punk asses. To see how easy it is to start a lockdown- violent melees and big altercations aside- They main reason for starting a lockdown is because 1 informant, who 99% of the people dont know who it is, gave them some information which is probly bogus. That will affect the other 1000 people. Which is why most people say they intentions and excuses is bullshit. It's been used and abused too many times, that one. Ask anybody and they'll tell you the same. And with no watchdog to regulate what they doing, they keep doing it which is illegal as hell. (The same people who oversee it is the same people who start it in the first place). So you can just see the dog chasing his tail with that one. And Schwarzenegger aint tryna let no media in to see none of that, for that reason and reasons like it. They steadily tryna make cold power plays, (which a nigga wouldn't be mad at if they wasn't tryna make an example out of me). I say all this to say the next time I mention lockdowns in a future post, you know what I'm talking about.

If These Walls Could Talk

2008-05-12T08:08:00.001-07:00

Can you imagine what these walls would say if they could talk? Especially some of these older pens who been around since who knows how long. They probly seen the population and officers scheming and plotting foul shit. They probly seen the hardest gangsters laying in the dark, crying cause they miss they kids and family. Men having sex with each other. Some that you would never consider and some that you would. (Come on, we all know it happens). Consensual and some not so consensual. I'm sure they've seen that. They probly seen politics at play in its lowest form. They've probly seen cats get they head bashed in. They've probly also seen some with more talent then others at the highest levels of society. They probly seen young idiots come in, lose they bitch, or any other kind of support, find they way, grow into a man, and find out they dont have to depend on nobody. Today as I look at these walls, covered in chipped paint, a calendar, and my pictures (wondering what they feel about me), I'm just glad they get to see me for another day, growing into my fullest self.

24 Hours in a Cell

2008-05-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

Today I sat in my cell for 24 hours (thats how most of the days are, except for the days when we have yard, and or dayroom, or some other adventurous activity like going to the doctor, or the dentist, or you have the opportunity to get called to the law library. But there is an exception for those who go to school, or have a job though. But not everybody has that) without doing nothing. This is what I hate most about doing time. More than the scheming and plotting done by just about everybody here, from the officers to the population. Not doing nothing, nothing exciting. Just looking at these four walls. Whats hated most by Made Men, or niggas about their business, especially on the streets, is being tied up and not being able to be mobile and go where you want, whenever you want. Sometimes I feel like my life is just wasting away. I'm like I know my life is better than this. Is this what all my years on the streets making a name for myself and making myself known, putting myself out there added up to? I was fooled. I was bamboozled. Them fake gangstas on the streets in a rush to get here got it all wrong. They can have my number, and this L.

Real Game 4 U

2008-04-23T17:01:00.000-07:00

People got it fucked up. Most people prolly think the pen is this big battle cage of violence (although there is lots of violence). But the pen is 95% mental. (Remember all violent acts are the final results of something else "on a mental tip" that started long before. Just a little game for your ear). What I mean by that is the most important thing to have, and the people who survive, and thrive have the quality of a good judgement of character. Meaning you have to be able to tell right off the bat how a person will affect you. What role would he play in your life? How do other people react to him, or how does he respond to his circumstances? Does he respond well, or not? For example, you have to be able to tell immediately when you first meet him, oh this nigga won't be loyal to me, or he'll cut my throat as soon as he get a chance, if the circumstances presented itself, or he about his paper, he about something constructive; without this person knowing you're reading him (basically hold your card close to you). 9 times out of 10, on a daily you'll run into a variety of people. Everybody dont have your best interest in mind. And everybody's not going to be loyal to you. Including some of the people who grew up in your same neighborhood. ( Most of the time the ones who will be loyal are the ones who have the same kind of circumstances as you and have the same amount to lose as you. They need your loyalty just as much as you need theirs). Most people could care less about your upbringing, your abusive childhood, and the circumstances that brought you here (to prison). Remember most people had the same type of upbringing as you, some even worst than you, which brought them to prison. They look at you and say what can he do for me? Or how could he or she make doing my "time" better? (Just as you should be like of what benefit could he be to me)? Lots of people are strapped for just about everything. Ideas, cash, resources, hope, support, and even love. And the one who can do the most for people, (regardless of if he do it for everybody or not) is the one who will come out on top. Niggas will sell out they own homies to fuck with you...

3 Guards Stabbed, Lockdown

2008-04-18T10:17:00.000-07:00

This place is like a warzone. The other day this dude ran up in the program office and stabbed the Sargent, and three other officers, right across from where I'm at. So now this place is locked down, prolly 'til June. The SkyFox news chopper was overhead. I seen footage of niggas laying up against the concrete wall surrounding the maximum security prison yard that I'm on. But I was unable to tell exactly what happened until I saw it on the news. It's a trip because this is the first time a maximum security prison yard that I've been on has ever been on the news (or t.v. for that matter, period). While I was on it. So we'll see how things go and what happens from here. The prison guards prolly come through here and tear shit up. We'll see. I'll keep ya'll updated...

My Boy Got Cracked

2008-04-16T18:11:00.000-07:00

Today my boy Green got cracked in the visiting room for trying to bring some weed in. This was my boy. He was older than me but we were still super cool. I don't know why people think they can burn shit out. It aint like these poeple dont know every stach, trick, and trade to get it in. Esecially in Tehachapi. It's one of the oldest pens in California. Everybody; head honchos, big wigs, Damn near anybody who just about done anything, has been here at sometime, or another. (I'm really mad because I didn't get no peice of what he had). Can't be letting all the niggas like that get away, without making something happen. Anyway I heard his wife, and 14 year old daughter got arrested on grounds.

Integration of Cell Living

2008-04-09T09:30:00.000-07:00

So everybody in the pen is tripping about this integration of cell living thats supposed to happen soon. Forever the C.D.C.(R) has been broke up into groups. Not really racial, but for like example Mexican mafias, white supremacy groups, bloods, crips, northern Mexicans etc. And because most people who are in the Mexican mafia (or also known as south sider Mexican groups) are Mexican, and most people who are white supremacist are white, And most people who are bloods, and crips are black, etc. it would seem like that. So everybody fucked with their group. Including lived together and hanging out with their group on the yard. I was reportedly involved in allegedly stabbing my celly 3 years ago during an altercation, resulting in 33 stitches. So integration of cell living won't affect me right now. But the vast majority of the Department of Corrections lives in 2 man cells. But now it's against the law to divide individuals up in groups for cell living by race, and even by group affiliation. There are supposed to be benefits to this like no more lockdowns for whole groups of races that last months on end, or longer for something one, or two out of the whole race (regardless of group) did. Even sometimes miniscule and minor. Among other things. (More on that later). So we'll see how that turns out. Stay tuned for more...

Recklessness...

2008-03-31T12:04:00.000-07:00

Here's another perfect example of another young nigga not knowing what he doing in "This Game", and fucking it up for all of us, or making it hard for the rest of us with validation (which means anybody they can put up under that gang member criteria get locked down under the hole for however long your in jail, and if you're doing a long time then thats how long you'll be there), and high risk parole. So everybody in the pen trying to shake that validation like the four letter disease. It's niggas thats been up under there for the last 20 years, or more. I done seen many dudes I got love for go down. Recently there was a dude who was allegedly shooting at two individuals, didn't shoot na one of his targets. But instead hit 5 children sitting at the bus stop coming home from school, and 3 elder people between the ages of 48 to 68. They caught the dude the next day in his neighborhood. Charged him with 10 counts of attempted murder (including the two he didn't even touch). And council members proposed a bill that will pass if it go before voters (because you know our people don't participate in that process), just like the 3 strikes, which will affect not just him but anyone they can fit up under that "gang member" criteria if they can, no matter your crime. He (the shooter) will come to the pen as a gang member (even if he do, or don't get the D.P.), and get no respect because he damn near killed 5 children, and 3 elder people.

So whats up with these packages?

2008-03-27T21:09:00.000-07:00

So whats up with these packages? My brother ordered me a package, and they (the department of corrections) act like they didn't want to give it to me. The Department of Corrections enacted policies, and procedures so we could have the opportunity to have these packages. Packages are ensured as kinda like survival kits to hold you down, or hold you over (1 every 3 months) when you can't get food, other than the standard small portions of Department of Corrections food, or cosmetics through normal means like canteen, or there's a lockdown. Families spend hundreds of dollars with the assurance that it will get to us. And when the care packages get here the C.D.C.R. don't want to give them to us like it belongs to them, or keep it. Even if we meet the criteria to get them...

AND FOR WHAT???

2008-03-21T14:18:00.000-07:00

There seems to be a new thing jumpin off in the pen, niggas pulling out they dick, and jacking off to these broads. Any broad they see in here. Don't matter if they officers, nurses, or whoever. I can understand somebody relieving hisself, or emptying his nutts. I can even understand if she's in agreement with it. Aint nothing wrong with a little freak freak. But why risk going to the hole (jail in jail), or catching another case for it? In a lot of instances it's a goat faced ass department of corrections officer, best flattery she ever had. More than she probably deserve. But its an epidemic now and widespread. Me personally I don't agree with it, and wouldn't appreciate being in a cell with anybody who did it. In many cases its a nigga that aint had no pussy before they came to the pen, or aint had no pussy in years and probably won't have none in more years. But a lot of times its niggas that's bout to go home soon. And fuckin off they release dates for that quick fix, and gratification. Even when they can get, and touch some real pussy when they get home. I can think of many examples. But one example I can think of is this nigga I'll call kdow. Stupid as hell. You would think he had common sense, was kinda sharp, Game orientated, and a little smart. "Appearence is a muthafucka". I use him as an example because he kinda surprised me. I didn't think he got down like that. So we all in our different cells just recently chilling, chopping it up or whatever when the police come in (the building's section we were in) and go straight to his cell. Any time there's a loud commotion, or something out of the ordinary going on everybody's all up on their doors posted, listening in. All you can hear is kdow yelling "I didn't jack off to that bitch whoop whoop whoop. I was taking a piss. I don't even like white bitches whoop whoop whoop". (His words, which is a lie). I guess there was an encounter the two had that nobody else knew about when she came by his door in the section by herself fifteen minutes earlier. We all laughing like what the fuck how he get caught up in that. Then they put him in handcuffs, and take him away. So now all his property, hundreds of dollars worth of property is going to be either destroyed, or sent home, and a referral to the D.A. And for what?

My Spot Got Raided...

2008-03-18T13:04:00.000-07:00

These mothafuckas run up in my spot (cell) (The Correctional Department "Investigative Goon Squad Unit") the other week, three weeks ago, in a raid and take all my property to investigate it. So they just recently bring it back the other day and they pull me in for an interview. They have me under the spotlight, and ask me why did you think you were going to the hole (jail in jail)? First of all I'm like I don't even know how I, or my name came up about being investigated, or my spot being raided. Then they asked me how come I wasn't surprised when we came to your cell? I'm like don't nothing ya'll do surprise me.

Haterz

2008-03-12T11:17:00.000-07:00

Haters come in many special shapes, and forms. Haters are everywhere. All over, and especially in jail. They hate because first of all they hate theirselves. And they really gone hate you if they see that you give a damn about yourself (or doing something with yourself). Or doing good, or that you're doing something that equals more than what they're used to seeing, or having for themselves. Some of them can't see themselves doing anything worth shit productive, or valuable in jail that, let alone when they get out, will equate to them sitting on something major, except come back to this bitch on some dope fiend moves type shit, because if they was really doing they thing they would love you. But they want to talk that high power shit when they see someone else who is doing their thing, and being successful at it (without their services). They will do anything to see you fall. Some will even sacrifice their bodies, and well being to take you out of your element and see you fall, and bring you into the miserable tornado of fucked up results, and repeated bad luck in which they live. See, in prison having a lot of mail signifies, or represents still having a lot of "love" and "connections" from the outside world. In prison having a lot of mail is almost equivalent to (baller status). So when this person sees you getting mail everyday without fail, among other things, and in many cases he's not getting anything he begins to hate you for this. Being a person who's always tried to do something with myself, I know what I speak about. In many cases they hate you because they love you, and what you're doing but know they couldn't measure up to what you're doing. (Which is a good reason you have to watch what people you let into your inner space). Some will even try to befriend you to study you better. Slick bastards is trying to learn your strengths and weaknesses to play on them when it suit them.

And then you got a different kind of hater. Some of these Department officers. They hate you. These mothafuckas got jobs and income but they hate the strength they see in you and the fact that they cant break you. Meaning psychologically, and make you feel less than what you are or less than them for whatever reasons. Especially if they got to see you everyday. They hate you for no reason, other than the fact of who you are. You might not even had to do nothing. Just like the first example they are dealing with insecurities too, because they cant deal with you unless you are, or feel inferior to them. And they too will do just about anything to see you fall in order to keep that superior ego over you. Including cross your ass up. They hate the young God they see in you. They hate the strength in you. Sometimes it's almost like they look at you like what makes this mothafucka get up everyday with his head up, with strength, and give a fuck about hisself...

Famished on the yard...

2008-03-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

So I'm on the yard today because thats the only place where niggas get to congregate and chop it up or whatever. They ( The California Corrections administration and staff) had told us that they were going to run canteen (store) because thats the only place where you can buy any cosmetics because they sho aint gone give you none for free or any kind of food or any substantial amount of food to hold you over when you hungry and your stomach touching your back. The food portions they feed you is so small everybody surviving meal for meal. After each meal you waiting for the next meal. So everybody on the yard stomach growling and shit. And they say no canteen! They aint running no canteen. Just like that, no explination or nothing. They say they gone run it next month. So we go to go through another thirty days of this shit being hungry and shit. The shit they doing is illegal as hell. I dont know if the shit they doing is to break you down psychologically or what because personally I know I aint working out or nothing (maybe only sometimes)

Welcome 2 Kites From Da Pen

2008-03-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

I am writing to tell the real about this shit. With all the perpetuating and frauds it's hard to tell the real anymore. Sometimes I get frustrated at the way things are going. I mean I see kids coming in here at 16, 17 without a clue as to what they are doing. I know niggas from all over and every hood. I know G's and OG's from niggas hood that they aint heard from in 5, 10, sometimes 20 years and in many cases they never even met, only heard of. I done pow wowed with niggas that aint been heard from or seen in longer than that. I'm not saying this to brag. I'm saying this to show the extent of my travels, my knowledge of what I'm talkin about and my experience. First and foremost I want to say the Game is DEAD. I dont see why people would even want to come to jail after 96. What you see people holding on to is remnants of what used to be. And the further I go and the more I write and the further I go into detail within these blogs you must keep that in mind. There are many young people coming in jail not knowing what they're doing with no understanding or ethical guidlines to the game they're supposed to be representing ( So the purpose of this blog is to prevent anymore from doing so) I am sure I got the backing of real O.G's from just about every hood from the North to the South of the state...